Dear married people,
ALL areas of life have seasons. Those seasons all have purpose and are a natural part of growth. In the beginning, you’re learning what married love looks like. Then, what married life with stress is like. Maybe it’s work, or kids, or outside drama. For each season, you accept what you cannot handle and do the best you can to find connection. Sometimes, sex will be frequent and sometimes it will be rare. Sometimes it will be intimate and sometimes it will feel like a chore. Sometimes it's wild and fun and you just love sex! Sometimes it's it's quick and quiet so the kids don't hear you. Seriously. And then sometimes it can be frustrating or disappointing. That doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. You are normal and going through a season.
No one in a real sexual relationship lives in one of these seasons all the time. It's just not realistic.
You can have a great marriage, and go through a rough patch. Because life happens.
You can be an amazing communicator, and miss something important. Because life happens.
You can be a fabulous friend, and disappoint people. Because life happens.
You can love God, and struggle in your faith. Because life happens.
You can be the best at sex, and still go through a slump. Why? BECAUSE LIFE HAPPENS!
Maybe what I'm saying is frustrating to you because your sexual relationship has never lived up to the hype or your desire of what you wish it could be. It doesn't have to stay that way. As I have said previously, sex is about learning and about the time you invest in it. Not all sexual roadblocks are physical. Most of the time, they are emotional. And sometimes those take the vulnerability to seek help outside your marriage from a trusted friend or counselor. But the freedom is in knowing that the sex life you want is possible!
Remove the shame from the lies that the enemy wants to say to you about your sex life. Embrace the journey you are on and don't let fear or the lie that you aren't enough or can never be good at or enjoy sex. It is too important to your marriage relationship. Fight for it, the same way you would fight for the other relationships in your life. Don't neglect it, because it can be easy to when life happens.