Mama goes job hunting
I am attempting to re-enter the workforce after 7 years of birthing babies badassery and 10 years of marital mastery. The last few weeks, I’ve been working on my resume and searching jobs and coming back feeling completely defeated. Let me take you on the journey of my thoughts in between panic attacks:
They talk in basically a different language. All corporatey. What in the world are they all talking about? Guess I have to google “quantify” again…
I don’t know what anything is. I had to YouTube “What is Google Drive?” And watch a video. I’m still not sure I got it. I am a 33 year old who now feels like I’m 80. I feel like someone tricked me that if I have a Macbook and an iphone this wouldn’t be a problem. Damn you, Macintosh!
It feels like the only thing I really “qualify” for are internships. I don’t have 2-5 years work experience that I can show. Unless you can count the emotional maturity and personal growth of a wife and mother. (crickets)
Most of the job hopefuls are bright eyed bushy tailed social media savvy coeds without stretch marks. One look at a job description and I just want to crawl in a little hole. What have I been doing all this time?! Why have I wasted nap times watching New Girl and taking, well, naps!? Didn’t I realize that the professional world holding my dreams captive was passing me by??!?!?!?
I suddenly feel like I need to go back to college.
I was busy researching how to get the baby to sleep through the night and how to get my kids to be well adjusted humans that don’t get me “that look” from judgy people in grocery stores! But the things I can get done in a day now…good Lord.
I remember back before kids when I would lament at how “tired” and “busy” I was.
What I can get done in a few hours makes me wonder why more moms don’t run countries.
My social media needs to look professional. They now stalk you like you stalk old friends from high school. So like a bazillion photos of your half naked baby won’t be sending the right professional message.
It’s basically high school. Pretending to be cooler than you are and know more than you do. Which in no way affects me on a psychological level.
Anyways, I will keep you guys up to date on my journey. It's another opportunity to grow. Yay.
I get upset and discouraged sometimes knowing that I have been busy keeping humans alive, supporting my hubby mancandy and trying to be all the ministry wife I can be. And that is a lot. And that is impressive!
Sadly, those don’t come across on a resume like, “I’m the bomb at Google Drive.” Does anyone even say "the bomb" anymore?